Shy Roots

I’ve moved three times this year. At first, being transient felt freeing-like traveling. A stark contrast to the smothering comfort of living with my parents for the year prior. I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to New York City so starting off with a three month sublet was a perfect solution. Though I felt confident I would stay, as I had committed to a year as a recruiter at a high end household staffing agency (as weird as it sounds), I felt a sense of security in knowing that anytime the city felt more oppressive than expansive, the EXIT sign was flickering in my peripheral vision-comforting but slightly distracting. When a nasty client bitched at me about their urgent need for a butler, when I thought I met my first NY boyfriend and was promptly ghosted, and all those times I got lost in the bitter NY winter, there was the EXIT sign-a glimmer of hope perhaps?

New York has a way of quickly turning around in hard times. You might get a strangers vomit on you one moment but an hour later you’re making out with his hot best friend (#Meant2B #Destiny #Blessed? #sowhatwhocares). Ultimately, there’s so much happening that no one can care too much about their own world for too long. I remember a work party I went to in the thick of my first year in NY. Every moment was drama-filled so none of the drama carried much weight (#neutralizethedrama).  Let me break it down: (1) My boss’s boyfriend asked for a co-worker’s number (2) My boss’s ex boyfriend asked for a co-worker’s number (3) My boss’s ex boyfriend foot got run over by a cab at the end of the night (4) The two boyfriend’s got into a fight (5) Oh yeah.. and the party was chock full of celebs and CEO’s because it is a “high-end” agency after all.

While I can appreciate the paradoxically zen-A.D.D. nature of NY’s emotional landscape, I’m not sure it’s for me. The flicker of the EXIT sign is still very much within view. I like to stew on my emotions and experiences for probably far too long. I’m happiest in my home with a couple friends and a cat pawing my face to wake up. I’ll keep you posted on my next steps.


ignoring his spectacular view
That view though, by Cora Kessler
Waiting for the train, by Cora Kessler


Halloween 2016 in BK, by Cora Kessler
New Friend, by Cora Kessler

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