I’ve moved three times this year. At first, being transient felt freeing-like traveling. A stark contrast to the smothering comfort of living with my parents for the year prior. I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to New York City so starting off with a three month sublet was a perfect solution. Though I felt confident I would stay, as I had committed to a year as a recruiter at a high end household staffing agency (as weird as it sounds), I felt a sense of security in knowing that anytime the city felt more oppressive than expansive, the EXIT sign was flickering in my peripheral vision-comforting but slightly distracting. When a nasty client bitched at me about their urgent need for a butler, when I thought I met my first NY boyfriend and was promptly ghosted, and all those times I got lost in the bitter NY winter, there was the EXIT sign-a glimmer of hope perhaps?
New York has a way of quickly turning around in hard times. You might get a strangers vomit on you one moment but an hour later you’re making out with his hot best friend (#Meant2B #Destiny #Blessed? #sowhatwhocares). Ultimately, there’s so much happening that no one can care too much about their own world for too long. I remember a work party I went to in the thick of my first year in NY. Every moment was drama-filled so none of the drama carried much weight (#neutralizethedrama). Let me break it down: (1) My boss’s boyfriend asked for a co-worker’s number (2) My boss’s ex boyfriend asked for a co-worker’s number (3) My boss’s ex boyfriend foot got run over by a cab at the end of the night (4) The two boyfriend’s got into a fight (5) Oh yeah.. and the party was chock full of celebs and CEO’s because it is a “high-end” agency after all.
While I can appreciate the paradoxically zen-A.D.D. nature of NY’s emotional landscape, I’m not sure it’s for me. The flicker of the EXIT sign is still very much within view. I like to stew on my emotions and experiences for probably far too long. I’m happiest in my home with a couple friends and a cat pawing my face to wake up. I’ll keep you posted on my next steps.